Lies All Bookworms Tell Themselves

Now I don’t know about you, but when it comes to books, I tell myself quite a lot of lies. I CAN’T HELP IT. We bookworms have dangerous lives, and sometimes, we need to lie to ourselves to keep ourselves calm. For example, when we’re about to go broke, we totally lie to ourselves and tell ourselves we’re rich enough to buy a lot of books, just so that we don’t have a humiliating public meltdown. IT’S A FACT AND DON’T TELL ME YOU DON’T DO THIS. So just like this, there are many other things bookworms lie about: lets go through a few.

1. “Phstt reading isn’t an addiction and I can totally quit a book whenever I want”

Hahahahaha. This is such a delusional and adorable lie we tell to ourselves, because PUH-LEAZE, we are UNHEALTHILY addicted to books, and I can guarantee that even if you swear on the River of Styx to never read a book again, you will break your oath as soon as you see a bookstore, because that’s just how obsessed we are! Once we start a book, we wont let go until were done. Once a bookworm, always a bookworm.

“My bank account is FINEEEE, it can totally afford my recent purchase of 18 books”

Do you see yourself in this? Because if you do, chances are you’re rapidly slowly inching towards bankruptcy. I keep telling myself that one more book wont make a difference to the already huge bill, so by the time I’m FINALLY done buying everything I want, I come out of the bookstore looking like I just robbed it, when infact, books have just robbed me of all my money. #NOREGRETS

3. “Just one more page!”

Possibly the lie were all the most guilty of. I start a book at ten in the night and tell myself “oh yeah, 50 pages and I’ll stop.” and then 50 pages later, I tell myself “10 pages and I’ll stop” and after that I just keep telling myself “okay so I’ve exceeded my limit already, so one more page wont add to it much, this is the LAST one I promise” and then when I’m finally done with the book at 3 in the morning, I’m bleary eyed, half asleep, BUT GOD THE SATISFACTION. This lie, in all honesty, is TOTALLY worth it.

4. “Yeah I have an organized and controlled TBR and I NEVER panic over it”

LOL at our lives. I could organise a presidential meeting with over 300 guests which can have members of the UN attending and could be the most important event of the century and still not be as frenzied as I would be if I EVER tried to organise my TBR. Our TBR is milessss long and is full of books we are probably never gonna read, but will that ever stop us from panicking over it? NO. Organizing a TBR is a Herculean task, and I sincerely applaud anyone who manages to do it, because HOW.

5. “Reading is relaxing.”

HA. HAHA. I can bet that all bookworms say this to people when they’re asked why they love reading, but no bookworm ACTUALLY believes this. Reading is the most stressful thing ever, and I would not be surprised if i started getting grey hairs early. I’ve already got innumerable paper cuts from flipping pages way too fast, and there were times when my heart stopped or I cried for hours. Yep, that’s my typical relaxing Saturday afternoon.

6. “I’m not in love with fictional characters. No way.”

LIES. THE LIES WE TELL. Fictional characters are the reason I’m NEVER going to have a boyfriend. My standards have been set wayyy too high. Unless I can get a man who has blue eyes, black hair, loves reading, has a tortured and anguished past, uses humour and sarcasm as a self defence, and is basically Will Herondale, chances are that I’m going to be alone forever. (There’s also the fact that I’m really socially awkward and don’t know how to talk to people which is why I only fall in love with fictional characters, but that’s a topic for another day)

 

7. “I’ll only read this series when all the books are out.”

Yet again, a LIE. We love torturing ourselves. We tell ourselves that we will only read a book when all the books are out so that we don’t have to suffer from cliffhangers and grave heartbreak, but the second a new book releases, SOMEHOW, it suddenly appears in our hands and we finish it the day it comes out, and then wait in anguish for the next book.*COUGH QUEEN OF AIR AND DARKNESS COUGH* Bookworms and patience can never be said in the same sentence, because it just NEVER happens.

8. “I don’t have a phobia of not being able to read all the books in the world”

Can I say that this is a real fear of mine? I am so scared and sad that I will never be able to read all the books in the world, BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY BOOKS, AND SUCH LITTLE TIME, AND IT’S JUST NOT FAIR I HATE IT UUGHGHGNKJREKLE.

Annnnd that’s all! Do you tell these lies too? Tell me in the comments below!

Thanks for reading!

-Rhea